Sophia kids are funny, even when they’re faced with a big, unexpected change—no welcome gift in those (pre-)teen years.  In no particular order, here are eleven things my fifth through seventh graders said (or wrote) today when I told them they would have a new language arts teacher next year.

My intention is to present these without commentary (thank you Autostraddle for this format) except to say that these are some of their wittiest inquiries and proclamations, if not the most heartbreaking.  Some feelings get to stay inside the Circle of Trust.

  1. Obama is leaving. Now you’re leaving.  All my socks are getting holes and my shoes are getting dirty.  I JUST CAN’T.
  2. But I knew you when you had long hair!!!
  3. But Miss.  What if the new teacher doesn’t have eyebrows on fleek?
  4. What if she takes down the Word Door?
  5. WHAT IF SHE BURNS DOWN THE WORD DOOR?
  6. I know it’s hard to live away from your partner.  But can’t you just talk on the phone?
  7. How about this.  You fly home to Alaska every night, and fly in to work in the mornings.
  8. Wait.  WILL YOU SEND US A PENGUIN???
  9. Are you still gonna be a teacher? I think you should do a different job, because we should be the only ones who get to have you as a teacher.
  10. In a way I’m happy.  I mean, I’m not happy, because I don’t want you to leave, but I did some really embarrassing things in fifth and sixth grade, and you’ve seen all of it.  So it will be nice to have a fresh start.
  11. It feels so surreal that you are leaving . . . I hope Alaska treats you right, because if it doesn’t, Alaska should expect a call from me.
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One thought on “Parting is Such Sassy Sorrow

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